I know many of you already post similar questions about quitting before, and I have read many of them. But I actually don’t wanna quit…
And I need some advice how to write a formal drop-off email to the department and my advisor in my situation
Here is My current situation
I have talked to my current advisor, told him I can’t do research in such stress and painful life, he approved. However, the department really unhappy about it.(I have my Ph.D. funding for being TA for the department)
I’ve asked informally and got an answer “They will tell you No, unless, you and your advisor can provide a very good reason. Because you are not the only one quitting your lab”.
From inside, I don’t want to quit. I have passed the qualifying exam with a top grade and have been here for 3 years. But I have made no progress since the beginning of the year. I couldn’t finish my coursework because of a “one-class-one-semester” rule. I finished nothing according to my CV, and I felt all my peer is laughing at me. I’m very stressed, every day, I sat in front of the computer doing nothing.
I don’t think I can switch advisor, because my current advisor will over-thinking things and will end up very bad from my expectation. And I don’t think I am qualified for anything or anyone would accept me.
Here is what lead to my current situation:
I was a bad student:
I am computer science major, I have a GPA of 3.5/4. I have no gift in math and programming was my only strength. I have zero backgrounds in research, so I can’t make a research paper or find a suitable conference myself. I joined the current program only because of a referring letter from my current advisor.
And I got upset easily if I did badly in my class.
My relationship with my advisor:
He a very nice man, but I can’t say he is good at helping me. So the lab has no focus, he allowed everyone attacks any possible directions. He got his Ph.D. in EE but works as a CS advisor in my department
He thought I am smart, but he hates people doing programming because he thinks do programming is kind of wasting time. Our focus should be on math. He doesn’t like me to do any programming before he approved, because he thinks “thinking as a programmer” is toxic to my research. There are several times that he laugh at me in public saying it is bad I can only do programming.
And he cares a lot about our personal lives. And earlier time, when I still trust him, I told him some of my non-academic concern.(It ends badly….)